Cliques and money

Remember high school? Remember the cliques in high school? They may have been different from mine, but the still boiled down to two categories- have, and have-not. If you were a have then you got it all. If you were a have-not then it meant things like not getting a limo for prom, not getting to go to all the cool concerts, not getting a car for your 16th birthday, and all kinds of things like that. Lately that whole high school mess has come back at me almost 20 years later.
For one thing, I have a great group of women at my church that I could be real friends with, but I made the mistake of going to some of their houses- haves! There's no way I'm going to reciprocate and invite them to my house. Even leaving aside what a mess it's been since my son's been born, it's a cruddy townhouse in a cruddy neighborhood and I'm just too damn embarrased to have anyone over. Call it a pride issue if you want, tell me to get over it if you want, it's still not going to change anything. I could be part of their clique, but because I'm not a have I can't let myself fit into their group.
And then there's my online friends. Great group in a forum- yeah, the occasional butthead, but they just add spice to the mix. But then one gets upset and decides to make his own forum. Great. And his website is based on a level of Flash that my computer can't handle, so I'm excluded- and I don't have the money to buy another computer. Even if I could, I'm not sure I would. It ticks me off that he's created this 'members only' forum that sounds like another high school clique. And our usually lively forum is now dead. I don't know if they're posting on his forum (since I can't get there I can't tell), but the timing is suspicious.
I'm depressed. And of course since I'm depressed everything is going badly. Don't know how I'm going to get myself out of this funk, but I better do it soon and it better not cost me any money.